While running any long distance event, there comes a time when we start to count and question our choices. For me that was at mile 18. The mind kicks in and things go downhill if we succumb to the fears and doubts.


It was a long road ahead with plenty of hills as I eyed the curves up ahead. “This was going to suck” I started up the conversation between my mind and my body. The chatter escalated rather quickly to negative self talk such as “ this is idiotic, or what lunatic does this kind of stuff, to I am not an athlete I am a doctor, I should be home right now, wonder what my friends are doing today….”


I caught myself at some point as I realized I had slowed my pace and was now walking. I asked myself a different set of questions. Am I having any pain? Am I injured? AM I hydrated? Am I hungry? Is my cardio still good? Once I got the green light from my body, my mind calmed down and I picked up the pace and continued to run.


My mind was forced to shift out of the negative script and into a new narrative. The one that said that nothing was wrong and that I could continue. When the mind is idle, it creates all sorts of dialogue to fill the void. I owned the fact that I had chosen this race. It was my choice to run this distance. It was an exercise in self accountability. And so I pushed on.


This is a metaphor for life. How many of us do not want to do the inner work to expel those shadows? How many times have each of us been unwilling to see that darker reflection of our humanity and be accountable to get ourselves out of the deep? How many instances do we not embrace our fears and find our path back to our higher selves? Self accountability is all it takes.


Once we make the choice to shift, once we give ourselves the permission to change and up-level it is the self accountability that gets us to do the work. It all Begins with a choice, and holding us responsible to the outcome and the work that it involves.


Unfortunately when it comes to self improvement, most of the world lacks this responsibility, and when the world does not change in their eyes, blaming others and the world is to be defamed. But what work has the individual done to make a difference? Where is the accountability of the self to grow spiritually to exact a change? It is easier to blame than to become self accountable.


Are you self accountable in all 7 areas of your life?



I love you

Author: Brown Knight

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