FINE. The biggest lie in the world.
I hear that word a lot. Especially when patients come into the office. My first question is usually “ How are you doing today?” And the response is many of the time, FINE !
It takes many queues to figure out what are the real symptoms that they are presenting with. I often joke when I hear this word. I inform the patient that “fine “ stands for Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional.
But here is the thing, we love to sweep our emotions under the rug. Why? Most of the time, it may be because we are feeling insecure or vulnerable and in an effort to not experience those feelings at the moment, we delay in exploring these trepidations. We choose to not accept that we may be feeling confused, or bewildered, anxious, upset, frustrated, annoyed, lonely, unnoticed or unable to keep it all together.
We may feel lost, especially when life’s situations and circumstances seem too overwhelming. We may be facing a rough time in a relationship, or unstable finances or even significant ill-health. We just say fine and move along with our day.
But the more we ignore what we are feeling or neutralize it we push ourselves further into the emotional forest of fear. It may feel too gargantuan to unpack, yet when we do not recognize that it is natural to feel lost, and it is perfectly acceptable to allow these feelings to be expressed and wash over us. As long as we do not keep suppressing what we are experiencing we mentally and physiologically permitted to “get lost”.
It is only when we hit the rock bottom that we may awaken to the realizations of our circumstances and ask the right questions. It d usually starts off with “ why me?”
It is only when we naturally lose ourselves, and feel that loss of everything around us, including all our personas and identities that we discover our own internal compass to find ourselves again. It is an organic process to feel lost. This is fine ! It is not fine to ignore the intuitive voice that is whispering in the silence of the forest. It is the call of the wild soul to bring us back to the present and the message is the guide home.
So next time you feel that you are about to reply “ fine” when asked how you are doing, pause, and reflect on your internal atmosphere. Then respond authentically with the pulse of your heart. It is not about trying to be positive and ignore the climate of the distorted mind, but becoming present with it and the reality as it is.
Are you fine?
……………..
I love you
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