There are days when I owe myself an apology for the self loathing. The times when I minimized my gifts and talents and subordinated to those of others. The hours I spent yelling at my spark of madness for trying to be creative.
The pain I inflicted upon myself when I could have listened to my intuition but instead the voices of others. The times I tortured myself in anguish of what someone said when I could have found the pleasure to the irony. The years spent in pursuing others dreams when instead I should have focussed on my own.
I owe myself an apology for all the times I berated myself and accepted a lower station in life. For the moments I showed up inauthentically and did not express myself when I had the opportunity. For the times when I became distracted when I could have remained true to my goal. For the lifetimes when I witnessed injustice and stayed silent to my own soul.
I owe myself the permission to breathe free. To realize my value when others do not. To give myself the respect that I deserve and not the disrespect tossed in my direction. To embody that I am worthy of love regardless of anything or anyone. To set aside differences when they were never any. I owe myself the chance to not react but listen to my heart. To drop down the heavy burdens of others emotions that I carry for fear of their reprisals. To unload the baggage of the opinions of others when my own opinion of me is the only one of substance.
I owe myself to live and laugh. i owe myself the time to love. I owe myself the chance to open my heart and light the way for others to do the same.
Then one day, I owe myself nothing, for I am complete. I witness that I am not only whole but I am the embodiment of love, who owes nothing to itself or to anyone else. It is as it is. Beautifully expansive and universal.
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I love you
Thank you