So I had made several resolutions at the end of 2019. One of which was NO more sweets.
What did I do on Jan 1st? I ate chocolate.
Why? So that I take the pressure off the ZERO sweets thing. Statistically, the majority of resolutions that are made by Dec 31, are broken within the first 3 months of the following year. Rarely do they last to half the year.
I have made pages and pages of resolutions over the years. They never completely last. Was it only me ? Am I too weak to resist or stay the course?
No . Its human nature.
When we say NO to something or say for example ” I will have ZERO sweets” we polarize ourselves to an absolute.
A resolution is nothing more than the absence of anything truly substantial or with the correct WHY.
It is the unbalanced nature of a delicate equation.
Explore this further.
I hear from patients all the time. ” This year I will stop smoking” Does it happen? NO
Or from clients ” I will go to the gym ” Does it happen? NO
Better yet ” I will start eating better” Does it happen? NO
The reason is simple. If there is no strong enough WHY to change something, it does not last.
So the big elelephant in the room that we choose not to speak about is our WHY
If the WHY is potent enough then the HOW takes care of itself.
Such as the WHY to stop smoking… perhaps to truly not want to breathe badly or get cancer.
Such as the WHY to stop eating unhealthy… perhaps to want to truly beat heart disease
Such as the WHY to goto the gym…perhaps to want to achieve a healthier lifestyle for what ever reason.
But for each of these the WHY has to be big enough to make the shift and then make it stick.
The WHY has to be strong enough to overcome the hidden fear.
Moreover the ACTION step then breaks the fears.
The resolution that we create is in the absence of the opposite of the WHY to try to balance the equation.
This is key to grasp.
So when I deliberately ate chocolate on Jan 1st, it was not because I had a moment of weakness. It was an attempt for me to be resolute in not making the ridiculous resolution of eating ZERO sweets. Which in all practicality is impossible.
Why set myself up for a near impossible task and create failure.
There is nothing wrong with sweets per se. It is the KIND of sweets, the QUANTITY of what I consume, the FREQUENCY at which I consume it, and the WHY am I consuming it that is more important to resolve.
This applies to anything and everything.
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
If I am creating a resolution to solve a problem, then understand the problem first.
The solution lies here.
Then strategized action steps will bring true balance.
The things we are most trying to change about ourselves are the things we probably could be honoring about ourselves.
REMEMBER PLEASE THAT NONE OF US ARE BROKEN, NOR DO WE NEED FIXING.
It is in loving ourselves for the faults that we have, is when we bring ourselves closer to our own divinity.
It is NOT in “resolutions” to eliminate those parts of ourselves that we are choosing to change, that we find ourselves.
It is understanding our WHY, where we discover the HOW to LOVE ourselves ever more deeply.
I love you