A tale of 2 hearts

There I was having an internal tantrum. Yet another seemingly frustrating encounter with my son while I was trying to get into the car to go out.

” Where is your sister’s jacket?” I asked roughly.

” It is in mommy’s car.” He replied facing away.

” You mean in the car that mommy left with.” I retorted.

” Yup.” He smiled cheekily.

” Listen new rule.. the moment you both get home, and get out of the car, put your jackets, gloves, hats in your assigned cubbies, so we do not have this problem again.” I furiously replied.

” It’s 8 degrees out and we have to leave and now the jackets are in mommy’s car, this is ridiculous ” I blurted out with now increasing anger.

” Why can’t you kids just keep your things in the right spot when you exit the car? Why do you have to rush into the house so quickly the moment you reach home? ” I exclaimed in an aghast manner with arms flailing.

” Because we are just too excited to come home and meet you.” He said calmly.

Silence. Both of us.

I had no words.

Just tears that swelled up my eyes with the Tsunami of emotions within me.

Good answer I thought.

I have failed as a father yet again.

Epic failure.

I am a colossal idiot.

I looked away. Composed myself with a deep breath.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

Two hearts touched.

Never grow up I pleaded in my thoughts.

He hugged me back with the feelings of ” I got you dad ”

He suddenly exploded with ” I know where my sister has a spare jacket in her cupboard, I will get it” and his voice trailed off to save the day.

I stood there in the freezing garage with the realization that for every challenge there is support. It was my perception of a challenge that led me release my emotions. Yet what I discovered was the opposite in fact of support of my emotional outburst. What I had repressed namely my love was expressed, and what I expressed namely my anger was repressed.

We are constantly in a tug of our emotions attempting to reach balance. So glad that my little wizard teacher brought home a Universal teaching to my heart.

Never underestimate the amount of love in your heart or the love around you.

Never underestimate your ability to share that love with the rest of the universe.
………….
I love you