I never know how my day is going to start.. here is one version

Daughter: aaaahhhhhh ( screaming and crying)

Wifey: what happened?

Daughter: my nose hurts (clutching nose)

Wifey: is it dry? Do you have something stuck up there?

Daughter: No no.. it just hurts.. OUCHY (crying escalates)

Son: dad come upstairs something is wrong

Me (crap)..I rush upstairs.. Daughter is in wifeys arms hysterically upset.. trying to blow nose

Me: let me look inside your nose.. (I grab flashlight..see something shiney. Think it’s mucous.. so take a wet tissue and gently put it up there)… my first mistake

Wifey:let me take a look (also sees something)

Me: keep blowing your nose dear (now we are covered with tears, mucous, and snot)

Wifey asks daughter: did you put something up your nose?

Daughter shakes head

This question was asked and replied the same three times

Wifey asks gently: you are not going to get into trouble just tell us if you put something in your nose

Daughter: ok fine.. it was a small crystal…

Me: that’s impossible, no way you would do such a thing (jaw dropping in disbelief)

Daughter still sobbing and trying to blow

Me: blow really hard..(I ramp up my cheer leading skills)

Wifey calls pediatrician and sets up urgent appointment

Daughter gives 3 more last hurray nose blows…and a red crystal bead object comes flying out onto my sweatshirt

WE ALL SIGHED WITH RELIEF

Wifey: why did you put this bead up in your nose?

Daughter: I wanted to have a shiny decoration on my nose like OLAF ( snow man character from Frozen movie)

Me speechless.. thank you disney for another idiotic movie

We now begin the day standing down from DEFCON 2

Lesson of wisdom.. my wife’s certainty was greater than my daughter’s story

When we are more certain with presence than someone else’s BS, the former always wins

Remain calm and balanced

As for me.. this may take some more therapy… I can’t believe she even did this feat.. maybe because I never did it and had no experience in it.. but rest assured every small object in the house is being looked at with great vigilance

End of story… back to some degree of normalcy.. or whatever
……………
I love you