Conversation with a. 3y old

Nightly situation of not wanting to sleep in her room, and wants to sleep in my room, due to unclear fears, started few months ago, and so begins my recent cycle of lack of sleep for last few months.

Daughter: I need you to stay in the room dont go.

ME: We have read all the books, and said good night, and you are ready for bed.

Daughter: I am scared actually

( yes she uses big words)

ME: I understand but I promise you that you will be fine

Daughter : I can cry at night when I am scared

ME: Thats ok you can cry and you can be brave as you are.

Daughter ( begins to cry and continue her chant of ” I am scared actually”)

ME: IF you are scared or need help mommy and daddy will come and help you

Daughter: I am tiny, I am tiny , I will be scared.

ME: yes you are tiny and big, scared and brave, you can cry and be happy.

Daughter : I want another story

ME: YOu got it.

Tucked her in, made up a story and she settled down.

That bought me a few hours till 11pm or 2am.

The point is not about her fear, it is about showing her that she can be fearful and brave. She can be both crying and happy. We are both sides of every trait. We cannot own one and not the other. We can not roam around with only half of us being displayed. Balance means acknowledging both halves of the whole.
……………….
I love you