Connecting to patients
Each provider does it differently. Some talk to the patient about the weather, or how their day is going. Some do not talk to them at all and it is just business as usual, all doctoring. I learned from an early age, that it is more important to establish a connection first before the doctoring begins, for it is with connection that healing has a chance to create a foot hold.
I have a variety of tools that I employ, but the most important one is the simplest yet the hardest. Just being me. Being authentic is a necessity as the patient can see right through the caregiver and know if the provider is genuinely interested in helping them, or is it just an act. Are they keen on healing or is the patient just another statistic on the schedule that must be checked off to get the day done. It is an energetic feeling that even the most unaware or unawake of humans can detect. It is innate. Integrity is found when one is simply themselves. Without pretense. Just being a human being BEFORE wearing the disguise of a doctor.
I usually like to see a patient’s footwear. Unusal for a cardiologist i am sure. It tells me a lot though as I see them walk or the way they sit in the chair. Coordination, stamina, posture and neurological queues can all be noticed just by observing the shoes.Half the connection is all non verbal. I have had many an occasion to comment to patients “ I knew I would like you, we both enjoy wearing Merrill’s shoes”, or something to that effect, and after the visit we chat for a second about the shoes and why we each picked those shoes as we walk out the examination room door. The connection is formed and lasts as many have commented on follow ups even a Year later about how they got a new pair of Merrill’s etc.
The other day an elderly patient’s daughter began the conversation to my surprise. “ Hey doc you have the same shoes as dad.”
I looked below as I was distracted by the patient’s back Freddy Astaire hat. And lo and behold it was the exact same color and pair of Sketchers.
“ Costco?” She asked.
I laughed “ yes ma’am, they were on sale”
“ Yes they were, I grabbed a pair for dad”
And so a connection with a new patient was created and fostered.
Each of us need a connection. There are a lot more things that make us similar than divide us. The task that we are invited to accept is to stay open and aware, and make those connections when able. Who knew that shoes would be a great connecting topic.
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I love you
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