Whine, Whine, Whine. This particular habit is an infectious one. In any conversation with anyone, you will slowly find that the gist of the matters spoken slowly digress and flow towards unnecessary speculation and eventual gossip. It is human nature. It stems from primitive times and extends to modern day as an effort to keep our own personal egos ahead of the game. Misery loves company and so we generate negativity in discussions through conversation between two people, between a crowd, and between social groups on media sites. There is a fine line that we walk differentiating commenting about someone or some particular situation and complaining about the same. With the ever increasing popularity of the internet media groups we can complain or write a negative review very readily from our phones, tablets, computers with such rapidity that you do not even realize that someone or some establishment’s reputation has been tarnished overnight. At what point does this circle of idle conversations eventually turn on itself, and you become the topic of discussion.

The lines between commenting and complaining are blurred when we are not aware that such a  line exists. No one is saying live in a box and do not speak to anyone, as this alone will eliminate idle conversations. On the contrary, join in the conversations and comment away, but doing so gives you the responsibility and the ability to avoid the speech from taking a sourly direction. If you choose to fill the idle conversations with complaining, also go right ahead, but be prepared when the wheel comes a full turn in your direction as it most certainly will. Where do these idle conversations even come from? They are basically speeches from the “idle” mind, and mixed in with others of “like” mind, a conversation ensues.  But how can a mind be idle? This is the one thing that we have that unfortunately does not slow down even for an instant. Humming birds and fire flies cannot keep up. With lightening speeds our minds race from topic to topic, and just like slowing down an uncontrollable car on a small stretch of road does have its perils,so does harnessing a raging bull of a mind, and the result is namely idle chit chat. We need to be able to regulate the diet of a conversation with controlling the direction and the speed of our minds. Becoming more alert when we talk, means we are more present in the moment with ourselves, which translates into a more “meaningful” conversation. We can then truly speak from soul to soul and not body to body.

There is an old phrase “Silence is golden.” This does not mean shut up. This means pause, reflect, think and then speak if needed. It also means that silence and a quiet mind is very prize worthy and spirtually expensive. WE are all searching for enlightenment and a peaceful coexistence. An agitated mind does not allow for these qualities to foster and be promoted. Idle thinking, Idle conversation, idle activity. A natural progression, that we see in inner cities with gangs, riots and general misdemeanors. We hear people say “Watch what you say,” giving the impression that harm may befall you if you do not. However, what if you simply watch what you think, and if you only think good thoughts, you speak in the same fashion, ergo good karmic activity. Many a time when you make international phone calls, or use phone card plans, you have to wait while you are punching in  numbers before you finally type in the number to whom you are calling. These extra numbers are similar to the extra few moments that one should pause before saying anything.

Try this little exercise. Do not reply instantly or jump into a conversation in the heat of it. Pause a few moments, breathe, think and then act and you will find that your part of the conversation is more noteworthy and cherished. You will surprise yourself. You will automatically change from the habitual negative complaining, turning into a calmer more positive tone. Your entire under current and demeanor will change. An idle engine wastes fuel, and so is the same for your mind. An idle mind wastes the abilities to be creative, joyous and happy. An idle conversation wastes the chances of meaningful connections. An idle action wastes the opportunity to serve and do good.

Lets meet for some good conversation over a cup of coffee 🙂